By the time they are in high school, the majority of gifted teens have accumulated quite a list of activities to add to school days already filled with classes thick in academic rigor. Gifted teens flock toward activities such as music and sports and then find themselves attending requisite lessons with private teachers and coaches. These pursuits take up time, but more importantly, they use up a lot of mental and physical energy. It's easy for parents to watch their gifted teens completing homework, scoring well on tests, and earning accolades from teachers, coaches, and peers for superior performances believing that these kids have it all pulled together. But remember, not everything we see is to be believed.
As an illustration, parents should take a look at their own work and home routines. In the middle of a workweek filled to the brim with meetings that went nowhere, early mornings and late nights, never ending stacks of paperwork and phone calls, have you never pushed your stress aside in order to create a pleasant home environment for your family? At least once in a while everyone feels the necessity to act this way. Why? Adults know that stress begets stress. Teens, especially gifted teens, are very well aware that their behavior affects their friends and family. Thus, they become quite resourceful when it comes to keeping their stress, and the situations that contribute to their stresses, hidden from those they care about.
Chances are, one single activity, either academic or extracurricular, isn't responsible for a high school student's stress. It's the combination of juggling studying, tests, due dates, practices, games, recitals, lessons, and social gatherings that build a teen's stress until, like so many building blocks, they crumble under the weight.
What to do?
- Cementing schedules into a personal planner can be very helpful in preventing a feeling of loss of control.
- Posting a family calendar onto which everyone enters his or her own schedule can help parents monitor and remind teens of upcoming dates and commitments.
- Encouraging teens to take a short walk, or a 20 minute nap when they are overwhelmed can give their busy minds a chance to recharge.
- Asking, "what are your priorities tonight; what are you working on right now; what can I do to help," and not accepting "nothing" as an answer gives teens a sense that there is someone on his or her side.
- Do something special, perhaps even something out of character, such as bringing home a bunch of flowers, making that totally unhealthy favorite snack, or, instead of waiting in the car when on chauffer duty, walk to the gate and offer to carry his or her backpack or sports equipment using the time to ask how the study session, game, rehearsal, etc. went.
Linda Mocilnikar - I have nineteen years of personal and professional experience with gifted advocacy and other topics of interest regarding the best and ...
